Today is our 10th anniversary. We were a couple for about 6 years before we officially tied the knot, which puts us at 16 years of loving each other, but it very much feels as though we’ve been married for freaking ever. The good news is, at least for us, marriage continues to become easier the longer we are together. Here’s 13 ways it’s gotten better:

1. Eventually, I learned to stop noticing the dirty towels and underwear he leaves on the floor.
2. We’ve learned what each other’s strengths and weaknesses are, and work with it instead of against it. He can’t remember to balance the checkbook to save his life? Fine – we’ll make that my job. I can’t tell a weed from a flower? Fine – he’s got the gardening.
3. What’s on our minds gets said immediately and gets dealt with, instead of letting it linger to harbor resentment and misunderstanding.
4. Since I know he’s pretty much trapped now and can’t escape me, I have no qualms about sharing my kinkiest, dirtiest, naughtiest, most-taboo-iest fantasies with him and asking him to help me fulfill them. Yeah, even that fantasy.
5. Having children who are walking, talking extensions of the two of us, has brought us even closer together.
6. I don’t bother to ask him if an outfit makes my ass look bigger anymore. Either way, he’s still gonna slap it.
7. My family is his family and his friends are my friends and vice versa. A lot of conflict is avoided because of this.
8. Pooting in front of, or on him, is now something I laugh at instead of trying hard not to do.
9. The line between “his” and “hers” has diminished to the point that it barley exists. There’s just “ours”. Unfortunately, this means I now have to buy pink socks if I don’t want him stealing them and stretching them way out of shape.
10. We’re pretty secure in our relationship these days because we now know for a fact that we’re both absolutely crazy, and that no one but us would put up with us for long.
11. After a while, we start developing the same tastes and habits. Which makes choosing what to eat for dinner, what to watch on TV and what color to paint the bathroom much easier than it used to be.
12. It’s been so long that we’ve been going without some of the rights that marriage has deemed irrelevant, that we no longer even miss them. You know, like the right to come and go as you please, the right to say no, the right to remain silent.
13. You get to make blog posts with both sweet and comedic commentary about your relationship instead of having to buy a sappy card for your anniversary ….

If you’re reading this babe, Happy Anniversary. I love you.

It’s no secret I enjoy reading, writing, and talking about love, marriage and relationships. I recently read a very interesting book by Terrence Real titled The New Rules of Marriage for making love work in the 21st century. For today’s topic, I picked 13 of the many “relationship rules” described in this book to share with you for your thoughts:

1. Intimacy occurs when 2 or more mature individuals choose to share themselves with one another.
2. One of the great paradoxes of intimacy is that in order to have a healthy, passionate relationship, you must be willing to risk it.
3. Objective Reality has no place in close personal relationships.
4. A good relationship is not one in which the raw parts of ourselves are avoided. A good relationship is one in which they are handled. And a great relationship is one in which they are healed.
5. The difference between acceptance and withdrawal is resentment.
6. Couples don’t have problems; they are problems.
7. You think that your relationship will improve once particular stressful issues, like money, parenting, or sex, “Get Resolved.” But it’s actually the other way around. You’ll be able to successfully tackle tough issues only after your relationship improves.
8. Few things diminish one partner’s desire for sex more effectively than the other partner’s demand for it.
9. You have no right to complain about not getting what you never asked for.
10. Great relationships mean more assertion up front and less resentment on the back end.
11. The essential dynamic of all relationships is a dance of harmony, disharmony, and repair.
12. Listening equals understanding.
13. Understanding builds empathy, empathy builds compassion, and compassion ends combat.

What do you think?

1. Intelligence / A Know-It-All
2. Relates to me / Related to me
3. Confidence / Arrogance
4. Open-minded / Non-committal
5. Adventurous / Promiscuous
6. Naughty / Criminal
7. Hypotheses / Hypocrisy
8. Honesty / Crudeness
9. Intimacy / Secrecy
10. Analytical / Anal
11. Devotion / Obsession
12. Protectiveness / Un-trusting
13. Upholding Integrity / Being Judgmental