13 Ways Marriage Gets Better With Time

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.21.2011

Today is our 10th anniversary. We were a couple for about 6 years before we officially tied the knot, which puts us at 16 years of loving each other, but it very much feels as though we’ve been married for freaking ever. The good news is, at least for us, marriage continues to become easier the longer we are together. Here’s 13 ways it’s gotten better:

  1. Eventually, I learned to stop noticing the dirty towels and underwear he leaves on the floor.
  2. We’ve learned what each other’s strengths and weaknesses are, and work with it instead of against it. He can’t remember to balance the checkbook to save his life? Fine – we’ll make that my job. I can’t tell a weed from a flower? Fine – he’s got the gardening.
  3. What’s on our minds gets said immediately and gets dealt with, instead of letting it linger to harbor resentment and misunderstanding.
  4. Since I know he’s pretty much trapped now and can’t escape me, I have no qualms about sharing my kinkiest, dirtiest, naughtiest, most-taboo-iest fantasies with him and asking him to help me fulfill them. Yeah, even that fantasy.
  5. Having children who are walking, talking extensions of the two of us, has brought us even closer together.
  6. I don’t bother to ask him if an outfit makes my ass look bigger anymore. Either way, he’s still gonna slap it.
  7. My family is his family and his friends are my friends and vice versa. A lot of conflict is avoided because of this.
  8. Pooting in front of, or on him, is now something I laugh at instead of trying hard not to do.
  9. The line between “his” and “hers” has diminished to the point that it barley exists. There’s just “ours”. Unfortunately, this means I now have to buy pink socks if I don’t want him stealing them and stretching them way out of shape.
  10. We’re pretty secure in our relationship these days because we now know for a fact that we’re both absolutely crazy, and that no one but us would put up with us for long.
  11. After a while, we start developing the same tastes and habits. Which makes choosing what to eat for dinner, what to watch on TV and what color to paint the bathroom much easier than it used to be.
  12. It’s been so long that we’ve been going without some of the rights that marriage has deemed irrelevant, that we no longer even miss them. You know, like the right to come and go as you please, the right to say no, the right to remain silent.
  13. You get to make blog posts with both sweet and comedic commentary about your relationship instead of having to buy a sappy card for your anniversary ….

If you’re reading this babe, Happy Anniversary. I love you.

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Tati’s Weekly Checkup: 7.18.11

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.18.2011

Girl Cave
The Good:

  • I took the full first week of July off for vacation, and had a BLAST! We threw a BBQ party, celebrated my oldest’s 7th birthday, visited a waterpark and my favorite museum – Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry. If you’ve never visited, I highly recommend it. It is a very interactive museum with plenty of things to learn, see and do for everyone.
  • Small home renovations in various stages of completion. The guest bathroom on our first floor and the master bathroom have been redecorated, including new paint, new accessories and lovely new light fixtures. We’re working on a full master bedroom makeover now, and making a few small changes to the family room. There’s just something I find so reinvigorating about improving the space I live, work and play in.
  • One renovation in particular resulted in me finally getting my private home office. We already had a shared office on the first floor, but I needed a place where I could kick everyone out, close the door and have my work meetings in quiet and write in solitude. It was a long time coming, but I finally got it. I LOVE my Girl Cave! Thanks to my wonderful hubby for setting it up for me!

The Bad:

  • My vacation ended. And even though I worked overtime to make sure my plate was cleared before I left for vacation, when I returned to work there was piles of stuff I needed to catch up on. This is the start of week 3 of July and I still feel like I’m playing catch-up.

The Cool:

The boys and I got new skates! I love to skate – on roller skates, roller blades, ice skates, but I hadn’t had wheels on my feet in over a decade and my boys had never skated. But last week we remedied that, and now we have  family activity that I’m happy to say builds muscle, burns calories and is a lot of fun.

Also, I’ve been playing around a little bit with the new Google+.  I think it will really grow on me. If you’re on and looking for more circle buddies, feel free to add me. Or let me know if you still need an invite.

The Work In Progress:

The final line edits on my next book, WAY OUT OF CONTROL,  are done, meaning it’ll be soon be ready to hit the virtual shelves. I have a tentative release date of August 1st, so it’s coming soon!

And speaking of renovations, the hubby and I hit a bit of  a stumbling block with the new look for my website, so it is still a work in progress. We’re almost done though, I just need to make up my mind on how I want a couple of things to look. If all goes well, it should be live by next week’s update …

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Guest Post & Giveaway With Author Mima

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.13.2011

There aren’t many things I enjoy more than good stories, sex & romance, and games. So today I’m especially excited to have romance author Mima, who just published a trio of interactive fiction with a promise of adventure and sexy fun.  Read her post below to learn more about her latest books, her thoughts on taglines, and her geeky awesomeness. Plus there’s also a chance to WIN a free book.  Don’t forget to check out her website for more of her work.

Enjoy, and good luck!


The Power in a Tagline

Tatiana’s website has a wonderful tagline. “Making Fantasies Take Flight” makes me imagine a honking huge dude, nekkid, with really cool tattoos (sorry. I’ve been brainwashed by the last few years of NY romance covers) and enormous black wings. Feathery wings, wide and tapered like a raven’s. He’s crouched on the edge of a flat-top city brick building about to jump. It’s a lovely mental image, but it’s mine and I bet a lot of people have a totally different, unique mental image when they read that tagline.

Take Control Trilogy

Tatiana invited me over to her pad to help celebrate the release of my three interactive romances. These choose your own adventure-style romances give the reader a choice and what they decide makes the story diverge to one of several different endings. Tatiana and I both loved the books as a kid, and she’s really supported me in my project.

The tagline for my series, called Take Control, is “Take control and brave the fates, for true love is hard to find.” I’m trying to do three things with this tagline.

  1. Embed the series name in the reader’s mind.
  2. Inform the reader that they are in charge and it isn’t all smooth sailing. This warning is imperative when selling to romance readers who demand HEAs. Because some of my endings are decidedly not HEA.
  3. Assure a reader who starts reading a Take Control and might get frustrated with the first few stories not being happy that the romance exists.

One of the stories in the book is definitely a romantic, sexy, swooningly-satisfying fairy tale ending. So keep trying. There’s a bunch that are sweet in each book, but only one where the heroine rides into the sunset on the hero’s white stallion (Disclaimer! That doesn’t happen in any of them, even the western. It’s just a metaphor. No spoilers here.) Although interestingly, I’ve heard from a few readers and their favorite endings vary and haven’t been the fairy tale.

When I make a picture in my mind for this tagline, I see the Prince from Sleeping Beauty, reins of the frantic stallion in one hand, sword in the other, giant briars all around. There’s struggle. There’s danger. Be resolute and persevere. In other words, don’t stop reading after your first “The End” because otherwise you’re not really “getting” the book.

I hope the tagline inspires you to try Becca, the scifi (Aliens! Mobsters! Heat pistols!), Lauren, the contemporary western (Rattlesnakes! Bar Fights! Rustlers!), or Charlotte, the paranormal (Mermaids! Evil fairies! Moon magic!). All of the opening chapters are available for reading at any of the sales sites. Other excerpts are at my website, http://www.mimawithin.com along with reviews.

Do you have a mental image created by either Tatiana’s tagline “Making fantasy take flight” or my series tagline “Take control and brave the fates, for true love is hard to find”? If you share it in the comments, you’ll be entered to win your choice of a Take Control book. So what picture springs to your mind?

Mima
www.mimawithin.com

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Tati’s Weekly Checkup: 06.28.11

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on June.28.2011

The Good:

  • A new review for THE SUMMONING has been posted at The Romance Studio. Yay, I like it when people read my
    Boy with Great-GrandmaR work and share their thoughts on it. :-D
  • We went up to Michigan this weekend to visit my husband’s relatives, something we don’t do often enough. It was great to have the kids spend time and bond with the family. I was quite pleased to see my grandmother-in-law up and about, looking happy and healthy, as well as able to chase after my little boys!

The Bad:

  • My father-in-law’s cancer returned. Fortunately, the doctors believe they removed most of the tumor during the surgery last week, and  he is recovering quite well.  Still, it’ scary, worrisome, expensive and draining. Hopefully the cancer stays gone this time …

The Unnerving:

The 6-year-old is trying to understand procreation. LOTS of questions from him recently about babies, pregnancies and gender.

  1. “Does a man and a woman have to be married in order to make a baby?”
  2. “How does a cat get kittens? Do cats get married?”
  3. “If two ladies get married, can they make a baby?”
  4. “How does a baby get out of the mommy’s belly? Does it break through her belly like a baby chicken breaks through the egg shell, and then the doctor glues her belly back together?”

*sighs* As if I didn’t have enough grey hairs already.

The Cool:

My husband and I are taking customers for our website and design services again. We had an especially fun time working with our latest client on her blog/website. Danielle Monsch and her husband were a pleasure to work with, and we are delighted with how the site turned out:

If you or someone you know are looking for an affordable and uniquely customized website or WordPress design, just let me know.

The Work In Progress:

The hubby and I are working to create a new look for our web design site and to slightly alter the layout of this one (I’m beginning to have enough of all the white text on black background, and want to change that up a bit). Both designs are still very much under construction, but hopefully at least one will be done in a week or so.

The revisions and major edits for WAY OUT OF CONTROL have been completed. Now the book just has to go through final line edits and then it’ll get a release date. I suspect it’ll be released by the end of July / early August, so I’ll have to start preparing for promotion soon (plus I have a contest or 2 in mind, so stay tuned! ).

As to the other works in progress I have, I’m going back and forth between three of them. I’ve really been an Indecisive Daisy lately, with my ideas and attention-span wavering all over the place. I’ve decided to quit fighting it for a while and just go wherever my creative juices float me to on a daily basis. Eventually, something will prevail and get done, right?

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13 Traits of a Great Father

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on June.16.2011

Father’s Day is almost here, and I’m fortunate to be able to say that I there are many wonderful fathers in my life: my own, my husband, my father-in-law and my friends. I’d like to share 13 charactertistics that I think make a dad stand out as a great one:

  1. Guides with a firm but loving hand
  2. Plays as much as he sets rules
  3. Shares responsibilities with his children’s mother, including things that are traditionally considered “mom stuff”
  4. Does more than just demand respect – he earns it
  5. Can admit to being wrong
  6. Says “I love you” out loud
  7. Respects his children’s mother
  8. Knows when to scold, when to instruct and when to let things slide
  9. Exhibits patience when required
  10. Provides security: physical, emotional and financial
  11. Allows his children to be who they are, while motivating them to be the best they can be
  12. Takes good care of himself
  13. Dishes out hugs and kisses

What do you think makes a great father?

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Tati’s Weekly Checkup: 06.13.11

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on June.14.2011

The Good:

  • THE SUMMONING is now available on Amazon.com. So if you’ve been waiting for the book to come out in Kindle format, the wait is over!
  • I accomplished some writing-related (see “Work In Progress”) that didn’t feel crappy. First time in many weeks.
  • I haven’t had any chest pains at all in almost a full week now. All in all, I think I’m finally on the road to recovery. *glee*

The Bad:

  • Realized that I have to be very careful when playing word games. I can easily get sucked into Scrabble on Facebook or Words With Friends on my android. *sighs* Unfortunately I think I’m going to have to slowly ween myself from them. Again. Unless I can keep it under control, but we’ll see. You hear that, friends? No more having 3, 4 and 5 games going with me at once!!

The Cool:

  • We’ve forgone cable television for 2 weeks now. The husband and I haven’t missed it a bit – we were pretty much gamers and Netflixers anyway. Not even the children have complained about the lack in cable channels, and actually seem to prefer being able to just look at whatever they want through Hulu, Netflix and Youtube on our Smart TV.

The Work In Progress:

I’m just about finished with the first round of revisions for WAY OUT OF CONTROL suggested by my editor. I’ve sent it to my critique partner and as soon as I get her feedback on the more extensive changes I’ve made, I’ll send it back to the editor.

Now I’ll have the time and the energy to focus again on one of the many unfinished manuscripts I have in the works. Let’s see, which one should it be? The human/alien romance one? The paranormal one? The one set in space? Or the (yet another) new idea I’ve been brewing? We shall see! Hopefully soon. :)

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Tati’s Weekly Checkup: 06.06.11

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on June.6.2011

Gardening

The Good:

  • So far so good with the new job. I have a great team with some really interesting projects lined up, and a lot of autonomy and flexibility about how I get my work done. And I’m finally in the part of the organization I’ve wanted to join for years. I’m an excited gal!
  • I’ve been having a lot of fun getting some therapeutic gaming time in, and sharing it with Fly Girl Gamers. I was most recently over there reviewing the anime Ouran High Host Club.
  • The lovely weather has also played a big part in brightening up my mood. It’s hard not to have a smile stuck on my face while teaching my sons how to hop on a  pogo stick, or gardening with my family.

The Bad:

  • Still having minor chest pains that come and go, ever since the ER trip. I’ve been taking it easy, not stressing too much about writing, making sure to get some fun game time and taking long family walks in the in the evenings after work. There’s a few more stressors in my life that I’m working to alleviate, so if all of this is just the physical manifestation of the anxiety I’d been keeping bottled up, I’m optimistic that I’ll remedy all of this soon.
  • Our beloved television died. Just started randomly displaying oddly colored blotches right over the images on the screen. There’s an emotional and financial attachment to a nice TV set.

The Cool:

  • The new television is better than the old! With features like SMART TV (Internet TV) and 3D viewing options, we’re not missing the old one a bit and were able to get rid of our pricey cable subscription. Best of all we got it for quite a bargain, and I love getting a good deal.

The Work In Progress:

Right now I’m working with my editor on revisions for WAY OUT OF CONTROL. We have a deadline to get all major editing done by the end of the month, so I’ve been focusing on that. Once that task’s done, I have another novella in the works that I need to heavily revise before I submit it for potential publication. So although it seems as if I’m moving slower than a turtle on the writing front, at least there some progress happening.

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SAY MY NAME Available As NookBook

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on May.20.2011

Did you know that my first book, SAY MY NAME, is on sale at the Barnes and Noble website?

You did? *blushes* Well I didn’t. Not until just recently, heh.

Anyways, now you Nook and Nook Color owners can easily get SAY MY NAME on your device.

Happy Reading!

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13 Things I’ve Been Up To

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on May.19.2011

Wowza – it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve posted anything here? Time to remedy that with this week’s Thursday 13. Here’s 13 things I’ve been up to:

  1. Took a 2-day business trip for work
  2. Working on transferring my responsibilities from my old job
  3. Getting started on some training for my new job
  4. Revising one of the books I have in progress
  5. Writing the first draft of another book I have in progress
  6. Exercising 5 days a week (treadmill, dancing, elliptical, Pilates, weights & resistance training)
  7. In the Emergency Room for dang near a full day (severe heart pain, possibly due to trying too hard on #7?)
  8. Playing puzzle adventure game Portal 2 (liked it so much, I blogged about it on Fly Girl Gamers)
  9. Working with my husband on blog/website designs for new clients
  10. Seducing my husband
  11. Read and provided feedback / advice on an aspiring writer-friend’s manuscript
  12. Watching the television show Bones (started with season 1 in February, just got caught up to the 6th season finale)
  13. Growing our first ever vegetable garden

With all of that going on, something had to give. Looks like this poor blog got neglected as a result. :-(

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13 Things I’ve Learned From My Mother

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on May.5.2011

My mother and I are very close. And we’ve always been like that since I was a little girl. We read the same books together, dance together, shop together. We talk on the phone for an average of an hour a day, 6 days a week, and have ever since I moved out of the house for college. Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and in celebration of the great relationship I have with my mom, I’d like to share a few of the life lessons I’ve learned from her.

  1. Money can’t buy love or happiness, but enough of it can fool you into thinking so.
  2. If your under garments aren’t right, the entire outfit will be off.
  3. Make sure that he is committed to you and deserves you – don’t give away your love too freely. Why would he buy the cow if he could get the milk for free?
  4. Spend a little, save a little, and you’ll be fine.
  5. There’s no such thing as having too many pairs of shoes.
  6. It’s not good to be too anything. Too frugal, too spendy, too loose, too uptight. Always try to find a balance.
  7. Sales and coupons are a savvy shopper’s best friends.
  8. It’s not about how much money you have, but how well you manage the money you do have.
  9. You don’t have to impress anyone but yourself.
  10. If you’re going to be a doctor, be a good doctor. If you’re going to be a mother, be a good mother. If you’re going to be a thief, be a good thief. Whatever you decide to do – put your all into doing it well.
  11. The easiest way isn’t always the best way.
  12. Don’t let a job stress you out – you don’t live for a job, you have a job so you can live. But it’s just one of many jobs – either let it roll off your shoulders or replace it when you’ve had enough.
  13. Mothers and daughters can be great friends.

I love you mom.

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