Ever have one of those days at work that are so painful, you almost swear you have the worst job in the world? I was almost there today. But then I thought about jobs that I could have that really would feel like the worst jobs ever to me, and I immediately began to feel better about the one I have. Please note that if you have any of these jobs, I mean no offense, of course. 
- Jail/Prison Guard (cavity searches and taming angry, confined criminals? no thanks)
- Circus Acrobat (the pressure! the danger!)
- Roofer (I have no balance)
- Gladiator or Cage Match Fighter (you mean I might DIE in the name of entertainment?!)
- Adult Film Star Fluffer (all work, none of the fun)
- Slave / Forced Laborer (sometimes I wonder whether or not I already have this job …)
- Obstetrician (screaming women in painful labors that start at 1 am? booo)
- Street Prostitute (I’m not even comfortable approaching a car just to give a stranger directions …)
- President of the USA (don’t even get me started)
- Fashion Model (seriously, what would I do with all of this booty?)
- Hotel Maid or Hospital Janitor. Zoo Cleaner. Portable Toilet Cleaner. Public Restroom Janitor. (ewww, the germs, the stench, the horror!)
- Star Wars Storm Trooper (you’re considered rather disposable by the Republic, and pretty much guaranteed to die fighting a Jedi)
- Criminal working for a Crime Boss (I never understood why anyone would bother to work for a devious criminal – even if you too are a criminal. Haven’t you seen The Godfather, Carlito’s Way, or the 6 o’clock news? Chances are high that YOUR BOSS MIGHT KILL YOU)
- Bonus: Helen Keller’s Teacher (I mean how do you – how can you – wow!)
I recommend you make your own list of dreadful jobs that you can refer to whenever you’re feeling pretty disgusted at your current one and need an uplift.
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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I worked one summer as a roofer’s labourer when I was at college. Hardest physical work I’ve ever done. The weather was great and I was a lot fitter by September than I’d been in June, but I wouldn’t like to do it for a living.
Yeah? It just looks like a scary job to me.
Okay, now I’m curious. What exactly is an Adult Film Star Fluffer? LOL! Do tell!
Happy Thursday!
A fluffer is the one who “prepares” the male adult film actor. You know … so that he can “perform” ….
1. I don’t mind taming, but I can do without the cavity searches.
2. Are you kidding me? I can then double as a costumed vigilante. I have thought much about this,
3. The falls would be funny to other people though.
4. I would want to get really good at it; I should know this after the first fight.
5. I wouldn’t mind seeing a porn documentary about fluffers.
6. I’m already a laborer of love!
7. And miss the opportunity to be elbow-deep in placenta?
13. It’s also non-union!
*laughs* You’re a riot, Wil!
LOL! You’re too funny! And while I wouldn’t want to be a Storm Trooper, I find them very sexy!
*hugs*
Paige
My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/
Sexy? *rubs chin* But you can hardly see them!
I wouldn’t want to be a proctologist, either. Or about 2/3 of the jobs Mike Rowe has done on Dirty Jobs.
I actually did assist on a turtle necropsy (similar to Mike’s whale necropsy one), and it was absolutely the most vile experience. I have no desire to repeat that *shudder*
Okay, proctologist could have gone on my list. Never seen Mike Rowe, but ANY necropsy doesn’t sound like much fun to me.
These are great! I really needed a boost like this. I’m working on a list of thirteen things that are good about my job. So far, I don’t have enough to post this week, so I went with something else. LOL Best wishes!
13 good things about your job would make a great post! I’m glad mine helped give you a boost – I sure needed it, heh!
I was a hotel maid for a summer. It wasn’t all that bad.
Heh, I’ll take your word for it.
I am giggling way too much at your list to even attempt to respond. Other than female prison guards have a different perspective in the male prisons. That’s all I’m going to say and I’m going back to giggling hysterically now.
*giggles like mad with you*
hmmm, I can agree with some of those. Mostly right now I am thinking working in the boiler room of the Titanic must have really sucked.
ha, that’s a good one!
Child Care Worker. As a public children’s librarian, I have the utmost respect for them. Because I couldn’t watch the little snot-nosed spoiled monsters that they bring to us once a week for storytime without going to jail for infanticide.
Yes, agreed about Child Care Worker.
Great list, Tatiana, I would agree with you on all of these. I’m not thinking I’d want to wrestle alligators, either.
*rubs chin in consideration*
Nyah. Me neither.
I just think about being a waitress. That was miserable for me. I sucked at it.
I think I’d be a terrible waitress. I’m far too clumsy.
teaching kids is always top of my list…
not just ‘kids today’ either.. any kids at any time..
i would have not wanted to teach me even…
i was part of an obnoxious group of pupils who delighted in toying with supply teachers by asking degree level questions just to see if they knew their subject and were worthy to be standing before us…
we were horrible…
I used to want to be a teacher. Sometimes I still think about it – the molding of bright young minds and the summers off thing just sounds so worth the torture.
1. Politician (no, not a crooked one, an actual politician)
2. A commis for Gordon Ramsey
3. A journalist at the Daily Mail (that’s a quite parochial one, that, sorry Wanna! Consider it our print version of Fox News.)
4. Glenn Beck’s make-up artist
5. Teacher of any children 16 or under
6. Soldier
7. Chinese factory worker
8. Curator for Dubya’s inevitable library (think about it…..)
9. Recycled waste-sorter
10. Fishmonger
11. The “Jerome” to Kanye’s “Morris Day” (you know he must have one)
12. A haemorrhoids specialist
13. Social worker.
*laughs*, good list, Fubs! Interesting to see that so many think being a teacher in general is horrible
OMG you made me laugh out loud this morning. GREAT list. I love your humor. I wondered down from your how to post, and I’m glad I did!
(I even worked at Perkins School for a time… in the IT department, not as a teacher… but still. 
Secretly I always wanted to be Helen Keller’s Teacher.
Glad I could make you laugh, Ansha!
You must have a heart of gold (and the patience of an angel) to have wanted to be Helen Keller’s teacher! I used to want to work with deaf children, but I can’t imagine what I’d do for a child that couldn’t see nor hear. Bless your heart!