… and ways to resolve them:
- Finances. Discuss them.
- Kids. Agree on how to raise them.
- Frustrations. Express them.
- Expectations. Make them obtainable.
- Sex. Have it. Make it good.
- Promises. Keep them.
- The Past. Stop bringing it up repeatedly.
- Respect, Consideration and Gratitude. Show it.
- Angry Words Said. Own them. Don’t say it unless you mean it.
- Responsibilities. Share them.
- Ex’s. Keep them within proper boundaries.
- Lies. Don’t tell them.
- Secrets. Don’t create them.
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The fact that there's nothing here about who squeezes the toothpaste tube where and why I could never put the new roll of TP on the roller thing clearly indicates to me (as I've always believed) that there are no real resolutions to those arguments.
All that being said, #6? — seems like such a simple thing, but unbelievably important to making it work.
*laughs* I don't if I call those little squabbles over toothpaste and toilet paper and toliet seats and dirty socks on the floor fights so much as I call them bickering or nitpicking. And it seems to me that they become so trivial when you've managed to deal with – and work it through – much bigger conflicts, that they disappear over time.
I can't even recall the last time I fussed at my husband for leaving his dirty undies in the middle of the floor. Even though they're still there.
1) Just give her the money. There is a great probability that she will be more fiscally responsible than I will ever be.
2) N/A
3) No problem there, kvetching is my hobby.
4) I expect the best… within the range of my low expectations.
5) Yes, ma'am!
6) I got a better idea: don't make them.
7) It was like that time you told me…
She gives me sex everyday, at least once a day, then you're damn right I'm gonna show all kinds of gratitude!
9) You have to mean them, that's why you say it. Now that doesn't mean that you won't regret them.
10) Responsi– what?
11) A whole other damn state is a good boundary!
12) I am a terrible liar, as in you can clean me out in poker. I don't want to be cleaned out because of a stupid lie. I've got bad habits for that.
13) I do have a reply for this one, but I'm not telling!
Hi Wil!
1. Agree. Just let the woman manage the moola, and all will be well.
2. Agreeing not to have children counts!
3. Is it? I couldn't tell.
4. *snickers*
5. Good boy
6. *narrows eyes at you*
7. *narrows eyes at you some more*
8. Exactly!
9. This is true. I should have added that.
10. *narrows eyes AND crosses arms at you*
11. Sometimes emotional and mental boundaries are even more critical than the physical ones
12. *nods*
13. *face softens and arms unfold as I fall into a giggle*
Good food for thought but then what would I have to fuel my ideas?
You could always pick a little fight for creative purposes (ooh, and for making-up afterwards …)
Excellent! I like how clearly and concisely you spell out the solutions. Thank you.
Thanks, Darla!
Excellent points, esp #7. Mr. Robin and I never fight. NEVER. We're both too reasonable. Boring, eh?
Boring? No, not if it works for you guys, and you don't fight because you truly don't have anything to fight about, and not because one or both of you are holding things in.
My husband and I don't fight very often, but when we do they're big ones. Our goal is to make them go away completely, so I admire your relationship with Mr. Robin.
Wise words. We've got better at doing this stuff as we've got older, but it took a while.
It may take time, but for the right one it's worthwhile.
Short and to the point. I like that in a list.
*winks* Me too.
Informative list.
Thanks Elise!
I love this list.
Absolut Truth.
I luv you too, Sherri! *mwah mwah mwah*
It might be a short list but it holds a world of truth.
I think that some people tend to think that understanding what your significant other want/needs is complicated, but it really isn't. To me, understanding how to make a relationship work is very simple in concept. The challenge is in the execution.
Great tips!
*hugs*
Paige
My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com
Thanks Paige!
I've discovered the perfect resolution to all of these. Divorce *wink
Don't mind me, I have a hate on for the male population at present lol
Great list. Happy T13!
Aww, heh well I suppose that IS one way to resolve them all. *hugs you*
LOL Adelle. I love you, honey.
Funny how "discuss them" takes on a whoooooole new meaning when you're mad. LOL!
So true. "Discuss it" doesn't mean cuss, yell, threaten, throw things, cry or point fingers. Yet in the heat of the moment it all can seem quite synonymous.
…so this sounds like you would be required to be a grown up in a relationship. *Pouts* But what if I don't wanna?
If you don't wanna then you don't gotta CC baby boobie boo. *tickles*
I love your blog, by the way. And yes, I think you raise good points in your post – it's so ridiculously easy to fight over silly things, isn't it? Thanks for an uplifting, positive twist on what could be volatile.
Happy TT!
Thanks hon, I appreciate it! *mwah*
1. My hubby just turns the money over to me and expects me to handle it, and I do.
As for the rest, we’ve been married 30 years so I guess we’re doing something right.
Janice~
We handle our finances the same way. I know of other couples that struggle with this, though.
Yeah, 30 years of marriage? Definitely doing something right!
Good list. Works well for the WIPS.
And for the RIPs (Relationships In Progress)
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