Thirteen Crazy Things Said in My House

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on May.20.2010

I’m learning that living with a 2 year-old, a 5 year-old and a man of any age makes for some very, um “special” conversation:

  1. “Why do I have to go to school again? I just went yesterday.”
  2. “Stop dangling that at your brother, it’s inappropriate!”
  3. “Eww, I see your booty and it’s naked!”
  4. “But you can’t do work every day, Momma! That’s not fair.”
  5. “When I grow up, I want a husband and a wife!”
  6. “Well if you have your booty out, I have no choice but to slap it.”
  7. “If it hurts for the baby to come out of her stomach, then why did she put it in there?”
  8. “When I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor and look at people’s booty all day.”
  9. “You’re fired.”
  10. “Your booty’s fired, Mommy.”
  11. “Daddy, you really shouldn’t kiss Mommy so much. That’s just gross!”
  12. “I’m not going to tell you again to keep your hands out of my shirt. Next time you’re getting put on time-out.”
  13. (And this knock-knock joke:)

- “Knock knock.”
- “Who’s there?”
- “Booty.”
- “Booty who?”
- “Booty booty booty booty booty! Ha ha!”

Yup, there’s a strange fascination with booty in my house. And at least one of those booty sentences wasn’t actually spoken by a child … *side eyes my husband*

Life is a riot – live it and love it!

{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

Kimberly Menozzi November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Oh, lord! Booty everywhere! I'm soooo telling that knock-knock joke to my hubby tonight. ;-) LOL!

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Heh, heh, booty everywhere indeed!

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BethLanai November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

#8 made me holler out loud…

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FubsyNumbles November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Betchyou that was Slaus…..

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Nope, that one wasn't Slaus!

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FubsyNumbles November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

You lie!!! He ain't not never not grown up. That WAS him, dammit!

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Elise Logan November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Heh. Fun list. In our house, if the Munchkin booty is hanging out, it gets smacked. It's absolutely irresistible.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*giggles* I swear, you all are making me and my family seem a lot less freaky. I love you guys!

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melette November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

#7 is classic!! Great list.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

That's one of my favorite ones. Thanks!

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Hex November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Hows a kid gonna fire a booty? Where's the union rep when you need him?

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

I don't know, but mine got fired. It was talking a lot of junk, being indignant and hogging up all kinds of space, though …

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Karrie Berray November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

#'s 2 & 8….

*dead*

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Makes a mother proud!

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Kya November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

This is a great list. A house full of males is a trip!

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

It really is.

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ambz November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

I personally love the Knock Knock Joke.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Greatest. Knock Knock Joke. Ever.

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Yoli November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

i can't…. not this early lol

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Aw come on, yes you can! *tugs at your shirt*

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Darla November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

You always bring a smile while making me think. Thank you!

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*smiles* I'm glad to hear it! Thanks!

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Pony Boi November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*KILT* @ #8

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Well, isn't that what most doctors do?

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Sugafree November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Flatline on all of them…How, my dear, do you live with it everyday! :)

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

I'm slowly dying of laughter!

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Buttahfluhustla November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Yep, booty is a big topic in my house too. You're not alone.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Good to know I'm not alone …

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Paige Tyler November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

LOL! Those are too funny!

*hugs*

Paige

My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*hugs @ Paige*

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babikiki November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

you forgot….

14. :: answers the phone :: "Hello, Hot Lady!"

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*snickers* I only had room for 14

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shawn November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Your man was #6 wasn't he!

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

You sir are correct!

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Ella Drake November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

That list was hysterical, and strangely familiar.

What, no "booty call" jokes from the man?

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Strangely, no booty call jokes. #6 is way more his M.O.

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December November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Booty. hee heheehehehe… that knock knock joke is awesome.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*laughs* I hope I'm not starting a booty-epidemic here …

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Alice Audrey November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

I've read some Science Fiction in which it is possible to have both a husband and a wife. Still, your kid might want to re-think that.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Honestly? I wouldn't mind a husband and a wife myself.

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Sherri November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*raises hand, jumping up and down* Me me me!!!

Oh, and #6 was Slaus, hands down.

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Shelley Munro November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

LOL – I chuckled all the way through these. thanks for starting my day off with a smile.

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

My pleasure, ma'am!

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CCDreamz November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*wipes tears from eyes* I have read this list TWICE! Each time I read it I am choking with laughter by the time I get to the knock knock joke. #12 has to be your husband. LMAO Thank you for making my day all day long! Booty booty booty booty booty!

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

It's official – the booty is contagious!!!

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BluBerries November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

#5 was cute

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm
Bella November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

HA!! i love it. there can never be too much booty :)

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Hiya Bella!

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Caramel November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

I'm guessing #6 and #13 are Slaus. Kids… gotta love 'em! LOL

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

*laughs* #13 was NOT Slaus …

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Gem November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

#5 HA! What brought on that conversation?

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

My husband and I trying to explain to our 5 year old that his mommy and daddy are husband and wife …

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Janice Seagraves November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

#11 is said at my house a lot, and my daughter is now eighteen and still says it!

Happy TT.

Janice~

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** Tatiana Caldwell November 29, 1999 at 6:00 pm

Ha, then you guys should make sure to smooch in front of her more often!

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