July 2008

GREENER GRASS – Excerpt #2

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.31.2008

Here is a second excerpt from the very first full-length novel I finished, called GREENER GRASS.  Since it just sits aorund collecting dust, I’d thought I’d share one of my favorite scenes from it.  (Click here to read the first excerpt posted.)

greener

     Vanessa turned over on her pillow and looked at the clock on her nightstand.  It was six thirty in the morning.  She didn’t need to be awake for another hour, but she was wide awake right now.  Kevin, the early riser, usually left the house for work at about six twenty and so she knew that he was already gone.  She tried closing her eyes and forcing herself to go back to sleep, but was unsuccessful.  After lying there for another ten minutes, she decided to go along with her body and start the day off early.

      She went into their bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth.  The master bedroom only had a private half bath, and there was now a guest staying in the house, so she grabbed her bathrobe off the hook on the back of the bathroom door before she went out into the hall to go to the main bathroom to shower.

      As she got closer to the bathroom she was startled to hear the sounds of an electric razor, and wondered if Kevin was running late that morning.  The bathroom door was open, and instead of her husband she found his brother there leaned over the sink and close to the mirror shaving his face, with a bath towel wrapped around his waist.

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Relax, Relate, Release

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.29.2008

I’ve just returned from a short but wonderously relaxing vacation with my family in Wisconsin Dells.  We had an awesome suite at a waterpark resort where we all splashed, slid and swam for three days straight. I learned a few important things during this vacation:

  1. A getaway – no matter how brief or how small - is much needed every once in a while to help maintain your sanity (assuming you have some left).
  2. Despite the weightloss craze that seems to be all the rage right now, there are plenty of people out there who are happy and QUITE confident in their skin.  No matter how much (nor how little) of it they have.
  3. My husband is a perv.  And I like it.  (A loveable perv that is, not the scary, creepy kind.)  Okay, so I already knew that, but this trip helped reiterate that fact. 
  4. The husband and I need to take a trip alone every once in a while.  This is directly due to lesson #3. 
  5. A comfortable hotel room is the MOST important part of a vacation.
  6. Both of my young boys have low tolerance for being submerged or even showered with anything other than warm water.
  7. Not only are males of all ages visually fascinated by boobs, so are many women.
  8. I have a family of geeks.  So not only did I take my laptop with me (yes, I did write during my vacation), my husband and our 4-year-old actually spent many hours during this trip just playing video games.  Even the baby who doesn’t even turn 1 until the end of next month knows how to operate an Nintendo DS and will probably be surfing the web in a few months (if the goobered-up keys will still be working by then).
  9. My husband and I are still very much kids at heart.  But that’s all good.  :)

All in all though, I feel refreshed and rejunivated and only slightly sad to be back into the regular routine.  Back to work! *cracks a whip at myself*

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Hypothetically Speaking – Money Talks

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.22.2008

The following is another segment for the CTG Writers Group’s HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING.

Money

SCENARIO A:

You are on the commuter train heading to work.  The annoying person sitting next to you is on their cell phone, chatting up a storm.  You press your face against the window and attempt to tune them out.  

But you hear her going on and on about how expensive her dream wedding is going to be, about how much the live band costs, how much extra they had to pay for the open bar with top shelf liquor, the caviar and lobster that they were going to serve, and how the guest list has grown from 300 to 450. She says that it is a good thing that she and her fiancé have been living frugally and saving for all of those years. 

You cringe as you reluctantly listen and think about how you and your family are struggling financially.  Your son needs to go to the dentist and your daughter needs glasses, but your job doesn’t provide health insurance.  The property taxes on your house have gone up and you don’t have a clue how you are going to afford the higher mortgage payment.

The chatty passenger starts gathering her things.  “I’m about to go pay the banquet hall this 50 grand now before I make my way to go taste the cakes at the bakery.  My stop is coming up – I’ll talk to you later!” you hear her say.  As she stands up and heads to the door, a bank envelope falls out of her bag.  You pick it up.  Inside it you see 10 crisp, $5,000 bills.  You look up and see that she is almost at the door and the train is slowing down but still has not yet come to a full stop.  You have about 20 seconds before she exits the train.

 

SCENARIO B:  (changes in Red)

You are on the commuter train heading to work.  The annoying person sitting next to you is on their cell phone, chatting up a storm.  You press your face against the window and attempt to tune them out.   

But you hear him going on and on about how much he has made today, and laughs at how rich he is getting between the stock market and selling people a bunch of stuff they really don’t need.  He said he makes so much money, he can pay to take care of his wife and kids AND to put his mistress up in a nice penthouse apartment.

You cringe as you reluctantly listen, and think about how you and your family are struggling financially.  Your son needs to go to the dentist and your daughter needs glasses, but your job doesn’t provide health insurance.  The property taxes on your house have gone up, and you don’t have a clue how you are going to afford the higher mortgage payment. 

The chatty passenger starts gathering his things.  “I’m about to go to meet up with Lisa to buy her a brand new car, whatever she wants, with 50 grand in cash.  Yeah, I have to do it that way so there is no paper trail for Tracy to find out.  My stop is coming up – I’ll talk to you later!” you hear him say.  As he stands up and heads to the door, a bank envelope falls out of his jacket pocket.  You pick it up.  Inside it you see 10 crisp, $5,000 bills.  You look up and see that he is almost at the door and the train is slowing down but still has not yet come to a full stop.  You have about 20 seconds before he exits the train.

 

Hypothetically Speaking: If you were the “finder” in either scenario and this happened to you, what would you do?  Would you react differently in one scenario versus the other?

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If The Shoe Fits …

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.20.2008

… I will know before I buy them, because I have no qualms trying on shoes at the store.  But if the pants/skirt/shorts/blouse fit – or rather don’t fit – I likely won’t know that until I  have already purchased and brought them home.  As it stands right now, I have about 15 pieces of clothing that I need to return/exchange because they don’t fit the way I’d like them to.

My husband thinks I am crazy.  You see, he was unenthusiastically pushing around our two sons in shopping carts and making quite less than successful attempts to keep them quiet and content while I did my shopping.  At least three times he suggested I try some of the articles of clothing on first.  Each time, I shrugged my shoulders and kept pushing along, refusing to try on a single thing.

Why?  Perhaps it is only my imagination, but it seems as if most fitting rooms at regular stores that I’ve been in have cursed mirrors that makes you look twice your size and extra flabby/saggy/soggy in it, and this wicked lighting that illuminates every single blemish/stretch line/bite mark on your body from head to toe.

Fitting rooms are eeeeevil.  Evil, I tell you!

So as strange as it may be, I’d rather go through the hassle of having to return or exchange stuff than to go through that torture.  I prefer to try on clothes at home where I look MUCH more fabulous in the mirror.  The last time I used the fitting room at a store, I stripped down to my undies to try on a couple of bathing suits.  I am still recovering from that horrifying experience.

This is The Verbal Vixen signing out after an oh-so-random rant.

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Change of Scenery

by ** Tatiana Caldwell ** on July.16.2008

scenery

** looks around the new place and smiles **

“To the sick the doctors wisely recommend a change of air and scenery.”

I don’t know how well this works for the ill, but this new blog certainly motivates me to crank up the posting!  I like it here.  :)

** dusts off old blogging keyboard and cracks knuckles **

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